Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Fate

Fate
Mark Coleman

  I watched the laving against the sea wall through a drunken squint. The Fata Morgana was further heightened by the laziness of my eyes. It seemed that a muslin shift hid all crawling and slithering within it.
  I've had nightmares that left me more at ease than what I saw upon the Mediterranean that night beneath the mad spinning heads of the lighthouses.
  I heard a guzla and looked back. I had no change left for the street musicians who approach you at romantic, candle lit dinners. Between me and the city lights laid a beach fire. Wine drunk, the Greeks danced demented romaikas. The jugs went round and round.
  The flames illuminating their faces. From their heads appeared a confusion of goat horns. Some seemed to pick up flaming coals and throw them about as though they were nothing but poi. An insanity of light twirled and twisted there when only a moment before not even a single man had stood.
  I looked back at the ocean, and compared the two visions. The ophidian orgy raged on. Chopin up to her knees and going out.
  Choking her brilliance in rippling coils. Drowning their crazed Parana selves to make sure that she was dead. The blood surfaced in those plumes that the Coast Guard notices when it strikes them to look down.
  Caught in the pamperos of a meteor shower without an umbrella to protect me; I spun around, and met a whiter than white face tinted blue at the edges. Its eyes like sugary, shimmering lekach pierced me through with hate filled pupils. With a shrill shofar scream it sent me tumbling backwards into the sand.
  I laid there with the convulsions of a caught fish. My tormentor leaned down to better take in what must have seemed to it to be death throes. Those eyes that had been blue balling for such an event reflecting all my inner demons.
  It opened its mouth once again only to find that it had become mute. Lips like silverfish trying to form a word. This word I knew would spell out my demise.
  I had been toying with suicidal thoughts that very night only to chuck them like a bottle into that serpentine tide. Luckily, this strange being was at a loss for the vociferation that wanted so badly to leave it forever.
  Flapping together its stinging lips in bemusement, it seemed to quiver into a blur. The equivalent of scratching one's head when confronted with an impossible-to-solve-riddle.
  It laid itself full length on top of me. It dug with talon-like claws on either side of me. Ever deeper the arroyos became. I felt as though I was being buried alive in some reversed sort of way. I suppose this was all an effort to frighten me with the mortality embodied within the tomb.
  I shook to my very core, and bounced and sprung back against the hoary body in my uncontrollable fit as though this was all an innocent romp with a beauty beneath a canopy that covered even the valance.
  I could perceive a subconscious tic inside of that bobbin brain. A sort of muscle spasm that flexed its way down to the razor sharp teeth arranged in tiers along its yellowing gums. I thought of the women and girls that I had seen earlier. Their diet making it nearly impossible to guess their age.
  Becoming more and more indistinct. More and more equivocal. Perhaps its utterance, while undoubtedly shattering my very inner frame, would have proved salubrious to this fiend.
   I realized that my subjugation was the very thing that it needed. The effect of my submission to its controlling influence would have been immediate. Its contours would have rippled back into place and congealed. If I affected a stillness then all would be over. The word would destroy. Sending shock waves across every corner of the globe.
  It howled so noiselessly that I could hear the breaking of the waves in a seashell a meter away. It held its palms to its astonished face as they slowly dripped and dissolved into the scarlet waters of Lethe.
  Now, it seemed more slave than master. A pursued victim finally entangled in the all encompassing web of gluttonous fate. Anti-epicurean to such a degree that it would devour that aquiline nose, that pufferfish brow, those dwarfish feet.
 The chelicerae feeding distention. Rows of obsidian eyes chewing the soul into tiny morsels better suited for digestion. Eggs bursting open, sending tiffany offspring across the gossamer woof.
  Fighting over the incububotic/sububotic offal. Tearing and shredding bits of anima as the mother looks on in pride. The nearly minuscule monsters acting in accordance to their nature.
  The Furies screaming through the bones from which the flesh was being ripped. The sound of an ill bred bumpkin gnawing at bread and rib.
  Fate is damnation. God hides behind a cloud as the children pray for something other than starvation. For a Christmas in which they are not forgotten like the floating landfills that no one but the birds and fish see. The trash piling up inside of tykes until it grows to such a monumental stature that they end up stabbing someone behind a dumpster.
  Fate is a bitch with the grit of the human race between her teeth. Umbilical cords tangled in her bloated stomach. Her face a blotted mess of tears and disease. She is Pompeii. She is the Inquisition. She is the Holocaust. She is impotency in the face of evil.
  She turns man into skeleton on the battlefields. She gives hopeful parents miscarriages. Deformed and retarded children. She creates psychopaths, religion, jails those never proven guilty. Robs mankind of its innocence.
   Turns empathy into hatred. Sympathy into disdain. Creates homelessness, poverty, depression, hopelessness. Eats the hearts of those filled with kindness then throws charcoal into the gaping chest cavities. Takes the future and moulds it into war and famine. Laughing as it all goes down.
  Fate is a breeding ground so enmeshed in our own world that not even the most skilled mechanic could loosen the bolts that would send it spinning into its proper, fiery element. Gone like a flash in a pan to the Hell where she belongs.

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Conquests


Conquests 
Mark Coleman

 Got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. By hand I mean fingers, and by cookie jar I mean your quim. We were young, and my bedroom was still filled to the brim with adolescent shit. Posters for movies that I've since grown out of. CD's of superannuated bands. VHS's full of riffraff and Riff Raff.
  Your seemingly blushing skirts and starch white panties bordered with pink, faux Valenciennes lace about your slender ankles. A French tickler at the ready. I made you laugh with an apish weather forecast on your moist, agitated state.
  Of course, I didn't really know what I was doing. My introduction to the ways of love came in the form of Marilyn Chambers and Linda Lovelace. I later recognized the bruises on the latter's legs.
  I just sort of parted your thighs and stuck my fingers in. Moved them around a bit. Up and down. Side to side. Tried to probe as deep as I could. Though wet, I imagine you were nevertheless hamming. You were only fifteen and far more experienced than me. Two years your senior, and I'd never been bitten.
  We used to stick our fingers in light sockets or make escargot forks out of tin foil bubblegum wrappers that we'd blow out circuits with. Just for the Hell and the thrill of it. We'd compare principal referrals and brag about what bastards we were.
  You were on black tar. I was constantly drunk or stoned. Usually chucking some pills into the mix. A half brain dead friend would throw his antidepressants at me before driving to the head shop. Me grinning moronically behind the steering wheel. He would just chuckle.
  Told him I wasn't going to do drugs anymore. He got angry because he'd just bought a bag of shrooms. So, I jumped out from behind his couch at him and let out a terrible scream. He ended up crawling around on all fours thinking he was a cat. Much to the chagrin of those not in on the joke.
  I looked like I'd stuck a narwhale down my pants as we commenced kissing. My hand now just resting on your perspiring cunny. The other searching the globe of your breast. Spinning it to find a suitable honeymoon suite far from the watchful eyes of the US. Finding the location in an aureolar gland as my tongue circled your nipple; I planned out layovers, meals, and filched drink tickets.
  I laid a few flicks there then threw my head between your thighs. You, on your part, fondled me beneath my trousers. It must have felt like a lamppost hit by a baseball bat. You always acted the lady even when I mistreated you later on.
  At a certain point, the boy inevitably thinks he's a man. He files conquests into his bedposts, and shares sordid stories with his friends. He fancies himself a Lothario or Don Juan as soon as a few pubes start to come in and he has to shave.
  He thinks all women come at his command. His very touch. To his eyes the old timers are dried up and useless. Their days have passed, and now he reins supreme. And yet...
  We bring out the offspring too young. We look back longingly on what we (thought) we were meant to be. Constantly thinking just what if we had pursued the dreams that now haze and torment us, day in and day out.
  All history is written in quills dipped in booze and blood. The victors cheer their way into the unknown. Oblivion rats gnawing at their already half devoured faces. Slowly disappearing under the weight of their own triumph. A boneyard night under a starless sky.
  I think of my copy of the Kama Sutra and The Perfumed Garden. Along with the bawdy, Victorian erotica mixed in with more serious literature (most of which I have yet to read) in the bookcase where I arrange all my books by height.
  I always beat off before I get in the shower because it will all just go down the drain anyway. Henry Miller sometimes pisses on whores in bathtubs. Bukowski usually just pines and covets. While Mailer's ex gets his goat. So he starts stabbing.
  Thompson had wives but always seemed asexual to me. But he still had a yearning for more than just unbridled intoxication. We are children built for and out of fornication but making love is a sore substitute for the other kind of love that sets the heart aflutter and, if we're lucky, tears it asunder.