Understanding

Understanding

Mark Coleman

  No matter how drunk I get, life still pursues me. Even if I did an eight ball in Talladega, I still couldn’t outrun it. The weight of my world. Should make me a goddamn saint. Rum and cokes and a respect for Heaven, but not Christians. Constant land sides, when I can barely speak. And spilt drinks spoiling yesterday and today. Morning shakes. Heavy drinking when it’s necessary, but not necessarily wanted. Buck up and get rid of the pestering threat that a body no longer in control offers. The emotions that accompany aren’t very pleasant anyway. All capitals, so they can better express their hideousness. 

  Screaming at myself, then seeing it externalized and losing it. Seeing red in more than one way. Blood on the sidewalk. That’s just the penalty for meeting a cordial nod with an angry look. How’s two eyes for an eye sound? But taking away some people’s sight is like taking a Snickers away from an anorexic. Still the more that I can destroy someone with that streak of evil, the better. I’m not even so misanthropic that I meet all smiles with a glare.

  I’m sorry if I can’t fix my own computer. Apparently not cool enough to know a thousand trivial facts about Donkey Kong, either. But if you keep up the holier than thou, I’ll have you fellating a gun barrel in no time. You look at my dog the wrong way; I’ll leash you around by your fucking hair. He cares more about how I’m doing than a thousand of your friends combined. Even if the new cool is a video game bluetooth, I’ll still be at the jazz bar. Hanging out with the junky Bilie Holiday look-a-likes. What’s happening in your jack-a-billy anime should, in all actuality, be happening to you.

  Hey, tell me the one about the robot that didn’t understand binary, again. That’ll help me understand why I couldn’t save my brother. I suppose I understand the social aspect of your idiocy, but arrogance is so far out of your league. Might as well try to catch a rocket pack husky. And if another motherfucker looks down on me for not reading anything by Tolkien, other than The Hobbit, I’m gonna knock his teeth out.